Anaesthetizing.

There is a momentary lapse from my positivity. This interval keeps broadening.

It is a perfectly layered stack of jabbing knives. I conquer one to feel another.

I feel a numbness, probably a defence mechanism to the run through that alerts me.

I juggle these knives on my chest to get chosen for the stab and not to have chosen it.

 

 

 

 

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Return to the new

Perhaps being out there and hitting a wall has brought me home in many ways. Home as the epicentre of change in my thoughts, home as a haven, home to my own but not all in the best way.

I have become more pragmatic, I’ve lost the spontaneity. But that makes my decisions better thought too. There are instances where while I was so busy making an informed decision, it was too late.

It’s still the right way, I’ll learn.